Are you faced with the sad task of attending a funeral? If so, you probably have many questions such as: “ Should I order a flower arrangement for the family ?” or “ Would it be better to attend the viewing or the funeral?”
You may also be wondering, “ What should I wear to the funeral? ”
Specifically, you may be wondering if you should wear a tie to a funeral. Here's what etiquette experts have to say in response to this question.
If you're attending a virtual funeral or planning one using a service like GatheringUs , wear your normal funeral attire and follow the tips below.
Make sure you wear something that you can sit comfortably in for a few hours and that isn't distracting or distorted (e.g., bright colors or busy patterns) on the computer screen.
Unfortunately, the answer to the question “ Should I wear a tie to a funeral ?” is complicated.
Although funeral etiquette suggests that a black suit and classic tie is the best choice , even the Emily Post Institute admits that " with the nature of funerals and memorial services varying so much today, attire is not limited not black or dark gray .
Here are factors that can help you determine whether you should wear a tie to a funeral.
Are you a close family member or pallbearer?
If so, we suggest you should consider wearing a black or dark suit and a classic tie . This is true whether you are an actual or honorary pallbearer. The color black is a symbol of mourning.
Are you going to attend a viewing or funeral?
Funerals are generally more formal occasions than visitations. If you are attending both events, you can keep your suit and tie on for the funeral and wear slacks, shirt and tie for the visitation.
Funeral customs vary by region . While wearing formal attire for funerals is typical in some areas , this may not be the case in others. If you are new to the area, consult other people going to the funeral before deciding whether to wear a tie.
Just as funeral attire depends on region, it can also vary according to cultural or socio-economic groups. If you are attending the funeral of someone who wore formal attire for work or religious ceremonies, you should consider wearing a tie to the funeral.
If you are attending the funeral of someone who did not wear a suit for special events, then a suit and tie may seem out of place at their funeral.
You may consider wearing a tie if the funeral is held in a place of worship or funeral home . If the service is called a celebration of life and it takes place in a local bar, a suit and tie will not be appropriate.
Do you see how complicated things can be? If in doubt, ask an extended family member what would be appropriate to wear. Of course, this is not a question you should ask close family members.
The most obvious answer to the question of what to wear if you don't have a tie is to get one.
Since ties are not a large item of clothing and some men have several ties, it is easy to borrow one.
Text a friend who is going to the same event and ask if they have a tie you can wear to the event. Put on the tie in the car before entering the church or funeral home.
The price of ties also varies greatly. You can visit our shop to find what you are looking for.
If you haven't planned anything and don't have a tie to wear, don't panic. Simply wear a collared shirt with nice pants or a collared shirt and a vest . It is better to attend a service without a tie than not to attend.
Black ties are traditional, but you can also consider wearing a gray or navy tie.
If you don't have access to a black, gray or navy tie, your next choice will be a colored tie in a muted tone. For example, if you don't want to wear a bright red tie to someone's funeral, you might consider wearing a dark burgundy tie.
While plain ties are a traditional choice for a funeral, you might also consider wearing one with a subtle pattern.
If you're going to a funeral where you're one of the few people wearing a suit, it matters less what type of tie you wear. Keep the purpose of the event in mind and avoid anything that draws too much attention.
Again, this question is difficult to answer. Some would say that a full Windsor knot is an appropriate knot for formal occasions, but the real answer is more complicated than that. The type of knot should be determined by the weight of the tie fabric and the type of shirt collar worn.
We advise you to choose a full Windsor for a tie made of a heavy fabric . It is also better suited to wider collars.
In contrast , the half Windsor is suitable for lighter fabrics, wider ties and standard collars .
Don't let the lack of a suit and/or tie stop you from attending a funeral . If you want to pay your respects to a deceased person, you must go to the funeral, whether you have a costume or not.
The people you console will have experienced one of the worst weeks of their lives. They may be hanging by a thread and more than likely they won't notice what you're wearing. (For a guide on what to wear if you don't have a suit, check out this article).
Whatever you wear, make sure it is clean and pressed. Whether it's a dark suit with a white pocket square or a pair of jeans, your clothes should look neat. Present yourself as best as possible as a sign of respect for the family and the deceased.
Finally, appropriate behavior at a funeral may be more important than what you wear. Arrive a few minutes before the funeral begins. Avoid boisterous behavior and loud conversations.
While it is reasonable to be sad at a funeral, make sure your crying is not loud enough to prevent those sitting around you from hearing the service. Also make sure your phone is on silent and leave it in your pocket during the funeral.
While these are essential, one of the best things you can do for someone who has lost a mother, son, or grandfather is to share your fond memories of the deceased with family members. They want to know that their loved one’s life made a difference in the world.
Share your funny stories or tell family members how your loved one helped you during a difficult time in your life. Your stories will be more memorable than what you wear to the funeral.
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